Intolerance

I wish this world would see

Just how much of an evil it is

To stereotype or

Ask with horror or disbelief

That innocent statement – “I don’t understand”

Not so innocent after all

To teach your children to fear

All things you are not -

Muslim, Gay, Black or Queer

“What, what? Did you say Pakistani?”

“Did you say she married her?”

Oh well! - “I don’t understand,

I think this world is weird.”

Dad says – “You are more than a son to me”

Why is that ‘more than’ there?

Mom says – “I love you but what will people say”

Why is that ‘but’, but there?

Oh can’t you see, oh don’t you see

You are bringing up a whole generation that ‘fears’

Under the veil of hate. 

The weary traveler

And just like that one day, with her big doe eyes, her beautifully draped sarees and the flickering nose ring she took him away. 

"She wears short skirts, I wear tee shirts", everytime I heard Taylor Swift play on the radio, I would think just how shallow and inane that is. It sure does take more than looking hot or smiling pretty to steal a man's heart. Doesn't it? Except, it does not. 

To be honest, I'm not bitter any longer. Or angry. I was, when I first found out. But now only the last burning ambers of pain remain. Also, this whole episode taught me more things about my character than it did about his. It made me realize that my self esteem was easily shaken. That my cloak of self-confidence was as flimsy as a bubble of soap. That I put the onus of being made to feel like I was the best, in my partner all the time, without doing anything to be the best. That whether I accept it or not, my life was a constant competition of looking better, sounding smarter, loving more, feeling more than everyone else. And last but not the least, the more you try to chase something, the more it will continue to elude you.

Our lives today are a joke. We are all running in a scorching hot desert, the sand burning our feet. None of us know where to or why? Everyone is, so are we. Finding someone to love and be loved in return is like finding an oasis in this never ending desert. You can well imagine how rare and precious that is. So, when we find it, we sit down and rest and suddenly everything is so perfect and green and it's raining. It's raining love, smiles and happiness and we are enjoying our siesta. Then suddenly, we are woken up and we see everyone around us is running. Where to or why? We ask ourselves. We have no answers. But we think everyone is, so, I must. And now that we have once found an oasis, we are convinced, there lies more and may be more beautiful, more green. So, once again, we run. 

But oases in deserts are far and few, mirages are plenty. And we are all but weary travelers. 

The lost "you"

You "break-up", and you "move-on". You meet someone again and fall in love and life goes on. So, technically speaking, you just get up one day, cast something old away, something that is not working any more and replace it with something new, something that works. As simple as one, two, three. Except, it's not. With every break up in life, at least two people (and I say at least two because in many situations there are also other lives affected) lose a part of themselves. A part they can never have back. You can burn all bridges and hate each other with all your might or you can make peace and choose to remain civil and/or become "friends". It doesn't matter which path you take; on a fine summer evening in June, you will find yourself sitting on your porch, watching the sun go down and no matter how happy you are in life today, no matter how much you are loved, you will miss a moment, a word, a nickname, a hug, a voice, a smile, a "you" that you once had. A "you", you can never have back. 

And in that moment, If you find tears rolling down your cheeks, at the helplessness of knowing how you can never have that you back any more, smile. Smile because how lucky were you that you met and journeyed together in life with someone so beautiful, they brought out a whole new person in you. A person so unique, that even you can't recreate it again. That's love, that's magic that only a lucky few can experience. 

Devi, Maa aur sainkro naam

yeh samundar meri khamoshiyon ki awaaz hai 

tat par aaakar toot-ti lehren mere dil ka ek-ek alfaaz hai 

tune mutthi mein jo band kar rakkhe hain

mere bikhre sapno ke moti 

woh laakar lauta de aaj mujhe 

main piroun phir woh maala 

apni komal ungliyon se

Chhil de jinko woh kathor dhaga 

Khoon se lathpath ho jaanghe meri 

sharm se nat nat ho mera maatha 

tu mandir jaa, kar pooja devi ki 

ghar wapas aa, phir kar mujhko aadha. 

From the Ghost of the Valentine's Past

Slowly, little by little I can't remember the smell of your skin anymore 

Or how the skin at the edge of your nose crinkled, when I planted a sleepy kiss on your forehead. 

Sometimes I wake up and stand at the edge of the bed 

tracing the contours of your body with imaginary lines in my head 

But I have lost the points and the exact color of your skin, I just can't recall any more. 

I want to stay there some more until I can remember 

But you are not there, you are not there any more. 

And slowly little by little, this house has lost your smell. 

And since you are gone - The walls, the television, the sofa, the chair & the tables don't quite call out your name anymore. 

But they remember me, they remember my name and every morning and evening, all day and all night, they look for me, they call out my name...but they can't find me. 

They call out, they search for me everywhere, they scream for me..but they can't find me. 

They can't find me anywhere. 

Because... 

since you are gone, 

I'm not me anymore.