Saturday, November 7, 2015

Citius, Altius, Fortius - My Daddy strongest

8th of November 2010 . A date that I will not forget and I choose never to. Because this day distinctly marks the beginning of my adulthood. I clearly remember it was the Monday after Diwali weekend. It had been a long weekend of festivities and partying and the usual madness that comes easy when you are young. My BFF was visiting and after the insanity that happened on Friday and Saturday, we thought we needed a break on Sunday. So, she and I took a 90 minute train ride into the city that evening. To relax. Yes, in those days, that was pretty much our idea of relaxation. Of course, once in the city, the whole idea of relaxation flew out of the window. So we partied some more, met more friends, hung out till late and I had barely just crashed around 5 AM, every part of my body tired and aching but the little child in me happy and excited and carefree. I was probably still in a state of half wakefulness when the phone flashed – “Home calling”. Unusual, I thought. It’s barely 6 in the morning. Also, my folks never really call. They just text or give me a missed call and I call them back. I picked up and answered with a sleepy ‘Hello’, not knowing then that this call on the 8th of November 2010 will change me and my family forever.

It was a long battle since that day. How long? 3 months, 6 months, a year? I don’t think I can say when the fear finally started to subside. I don’t know if I can say it truly ever stopped or will stop. At best, you make peace with it and learn to live with it. Every time there is a little coughing, there is fear in the eyes of every loved one. Every time the weighing machine shows a pound lesser, there is summoning the doctor. There is fear, there is despair, there is hopelessness, and there is pain, suffering, weakness, lack of motivation, no willingness to go on with anything. There is disapproval of your appearance, there are uncountable ‘why me’s, there is faith shaken, there is Godlessness. But also there is strength, there is a fighting spirit, there is constant learning and trying and where none should be left, there is hope. There is a wish to live, to go on. There is love and prayers and faith renewed. There is a man I call father, who makes me who I am. A man I call Papa, whose hug still fixes the world. A man I call daddy, who never gave up. My sister and I loved the ‘My Daddy strongest’ commercial from when we were kids and often broke into fights with other kids claiming that our dad had some kind of superiority over theirs. Today, 8th of November 2015, I will say ‘My Daddy strongest’ and no one can tell me otherwise. Congratulations Papa on completing the 5 year cancer free mark today. Your mental and physical strength are unmatched. You continue to teach us by example every day that nothing can stop one from chasing their dreams, not even the ‘Emperor of All Maladies’. Cheers to good health and an indomitable spirit.